Monday, January 2, 2012

The Bachelor "Wine Maker": This Woman Tells All

Aaron and I watched the premiere of The Bachelor on Monday night.  Yes, we both actually watched and yes, I actually just admitted it. I know, I I just posted about how busy we are and how I just haven't had time to blog, yet, I had time to watch some silly, mindless, fabricated drama TV show....and I took my husband down with me.  What can I say, it was my last night of vacation before returning back to work.

I would almost go as far to say that pigs would have to fly before I could get Aaron to watch any show with me besides The Office or something on the History Channel.  But this season of The Bachelor there was one thing that made it enticing enough for him to actually be able to stand being in the same room with me while it was on TV; The Bachelor, for those of you who didn't tune in, is a winemaker in Sonoma.  So when I asked Aaron to watch it with me, I spun it a different way.

"Hey, do you want to watch a documentary about a winemaker in Sonoma with me tonight?"

I just didn't say it was The Bachelor...and that it was a reality show.

Of course, he spent the entire time narrating with snide comments, but we had a few laughs.  While Ben the Bachelor seems like a pretty nice and intelligent guy, I, especially, got a kick out of the girls.

I think the part that was the most fun for me was that these girls are all pining for a guy who has a few things in common with my husband.  They had footage of Ben the Bachelor out in the vineyard, driving tractor, carrying posts over his shoulder like a manly man, and testing wine out of the barrels.  I know what it is like to be in love with a guy who does those things.  It's pretty hot.


Like most people who don't understand what's really involved in the vineyard and wine life, these girls are likely imagining a sophisticated, romantic life, strolling hand-in-hand through the vineyard, swirling wine in a glass while talking to their new fancy friends, and running a winery like it's a cakewalk.

It's not that they can't have those those.  It's just that there are a few other things that go along with it.

So, on one of upcoming episodes of The Bachelor, I'd like to see the Bachelorettes experience ALL of the things that come along with marrying a handsome, young, winemaker.

Like power washing an old barn that used to house chickens (and all the remnants that go along with them) in order to make room for more wine storage...

Or, canceling an entire month of plans and do nothing but pick grapes...and pick grapes.....

...and pick grapes.  Until their backs ache, their knees bleed and their fingers turn purple.


And then carry 30 pound bin after 30 pound bin of grapes and dump them into a grape de-stemmer before it can be made into wine.

I'd like to see one of the Bachelorettes hop on tractor and figure out how to use the post hole digger.

And then basically crawl inside a wine tank and clean it out with special sanitizing spray and make sure there aren't any remnants of grape skins.

I'd like one of the "dates" to be The Bachelor taking the girl out to his vineyard to prune grapevines in the middle of winter.

And then have her clean up after him after he's trudged through the house in muddy boots and dropped his Carharrt jacket that smells like gasoline and fungicide spray on the floor by the front door...

And then go to a dinner party where she listens to him talk about yeast, fermentation and vertical shoot positioning the entire night...

Sorry... were those too close to home?

But really, THOSE are the things these Bachelorettes are in for.

Of course, Ben the Bachelor is probably independently wealthy and has plenty of hired help to do all those things...and maybe his future wife will just sit around swirling a glass of wine in her evening gown.

But, what is the fun in just doing that?